eldersister | Open post

[ She ties a bandage around the knee, and then picks Morgana up so that she can sit with the girl on her lap. ]

I loved your father. The way you love someone you'd like to marry.

[There are times when Morgana feels quite grown despite her age, but at times like this she is happy to be picked up and curl in Sigrids lap like she was still little more than a babe.]

Oh. [She thinks about it a little, then nods.] That makes sense.

[Who wouldn't love her Da?]

But if he... why'd he look the same and not...

[ That actually makes Sigrid laugh a little. ]

It does, doesn't it?

[ She gives Morgana a bit of an extra squeeze. ]

It's alright. You can say whatever you want.

He married my Ma and not you but he got the same look... if he loved you too, then why? [Why were adults so strange?!]

[ What a good question. ]

Sometimes, people marry for other reasons than being in love. But I won't speak for your parents. I don't know what your father was thinking when he got that look on his face. I can only tell you about what it means for me.

[She had never thought overmuch about her parent's marriage, at least not until everything changed. She assumed they loved each other, her mother was not unkind to Gorlois and he was ever a gentle man, soft, sweet. He brought them expensive linens and pretty ribbons to turn into new clothes and tie in their hair respectively. Sometimes he even picked them both flowers.

But he was often sad when he thought no one was looking. Morgana had never known quite what to make of it until now.]

He missed you. I know that. He told me stories whenever I asked. Can you love more than one person?

You love both your Ma and your Da, don't you?

[ That is an easier answer to give than think too deeply about it in romantic terms.

Not that she wants Gorlois to have had a loveless marriage, far from it. But that doesn't make her keen on dwelling on the thought that another woman got to not only be his wife, but his love as well.

She is only human after all. ]

Every love is just a bit different, so you can have as many as you want. You can't run out of love.

I thought I did. [She's not sure, so much, about her mother anymore. Uther had a way of spoiling everything he touched, of souring it. Sure, he wasn't a wild beast but he had taken her from the little castle over the cliffs she had loved so well and he stormed and raged in a way her father had never. In any case she wasn't his daughter and that was always perfectly clear when they interacted. There was no warmth, no genuine kindness. Just a sort of tolerance that made Morgana sure he'd send her off the second he could.] I mean, I guess I do.

I miss them, at least. I miss being little. [Before everything hurt.]

Of course you do.

[ Sigrid sighs, hating that she can't ever make things right for this poor child. ]

You know, there is one thing that makes me happy that your father had another wife, and that's you.

[Morgana shifts from where she had been resting her head against Sigrid's shoulder to sit up a little more. Her fingers brush a loose strand of hair back behind Sigrids ear, but only after she admires it for a moment.]

If he married you instead, I could still be here. Maybe a little blonder... You would've had me sooner, but either way, you have me now so I s'pose part of it worked out.

I like it here. [She takes a breath then softly adds] I love you, Sigrid.

[ Well how is anyone supposed to hold back tears after hearing something like that?

At least Sigrid is smiling too, so hopefully Morgana won't think she said anything bad. ]

And I love you, just the way you are. You'll always have a home here, if you want it.

[Morgana kisses her cheek and then rests her forehead against her jaw, snuggling up close.]

That's good. Cos I wasn't going anywhere.

Bit cheeky, aren't you?

[ Sigrid chuckles quietly and holds Morgana close, quietly whispering inside her mind, just in case Gorlois can somehow hear it, that she will do everything in her power to give his daughter the sort of life he would have wanted her to have. ]

What sort of stories did you have your father telling about me anyway?

Got that from Da, too. [So she was told very very often.

Morgana shrugs a little.] Anything. Everything. There weren't so many ladies who did anything but spin and weave and they were all so boring they can't even climb a tree!

I don't recall climbing many trees around Gorlois either. Except to help with harvesting the orchards, but I had a ladder then. And I still fell.

[ Which might have had something to do with being distracted by a certain visiting Lord and thus putting her foot down where there was no rung to stand on. ]

I bet you could, though. [She says with absolute confidence in her dearest Sigrid.] Da said you were very brave getting the fruit down and stood on the top of the ladders... and that once or twice he had to catch you. He seemed quite pleased with himself.

Oh, did he?

[ Sigrid snorts, and it's only too easy to picture the self-satisfied smirk on Gorlois' face. ]

Would you like to hear how I remember that story?

Yes! [She is always excited for more stories and if they contain her Da, well, all the better.] I mean, yes please, Sigrid.

[ Sigrid doesn't think of herself as much of a storyteller, but she tried her best for her younger siblings when they were little, and she can't resist the opportunity to speak more freely about Gorlois. ]

Well, we knew that your Da was coming to visit us, of course, but we weren't expecting him that day. I wasn't looking much like a princess at all, in my working clothes up on that ladder picking apples. Then I heard some of the other girls starting to chatter about some man riding into the orchard. Apparently he was awfully handsome. Can you guess who it was?

My Da! [truthfully Gorlois could've been ugly as a barnacle-covered ship hull and Morgana would almost certainly think him handsome. She was biased that way. But, still.] Did he startle you? His horses were real big.

No, he was a ways away when he dismounted. I was too shy to say anything, not feeling at all properly ready to receive a guest. But he looked over at me, I don't know why, and my whole stomach became full of little butterflies.

[ Sigrid gives Morgana's stomach a bit of a tickle, to illustrate her point. ]

If he ever comes to visit you in your dreams, don't tell him I said that.

[Morgana giggles, grinning from ear to ear.] Oh. How strange. [How did adults even work?]

Your secret is safe with me.

I trust you. And it really was very strange. I got back to work, thinking that I would greet him properly with my family later.

[ What an effort it had been to not take a second look at the newcomer, so much so that she was oblivious to anything but said effort, and the work of her hands. ]

But suddenly, a voice said "Lady Sigrid?" below me, and I got such a fright that I misstepped and tumbled off my ladder, right on top of your poor Da!

He spooked you! How wicked. [Yet Morgana seems quite pleased.] I'm glad he caught you.

He could be wicked sometimes, couldn't he?

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